Hello everyone. My name is Steve and I am 29 years old. To anyone who doesn’t know me personally I may just appear to be a socially stunted, awkward, and immature Asian dude. But underneath that layer of social ineptitude lies a complex web of personal experiences and environmental factors.
Lets first define neurodivergence. It is used to broadly describe a person whose brain functions in a significantly different manner to the typical brain. It encompasses conditions such as autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, motor learning differences, as well as some psychiatric conditions. Bear in mind that being neurodivergent has little to do with IQ, although ND individuals tend to exhibit imbalances on different components of their IQ (relative to neurotypicals who are more balanced). Neurodivergent individuals often find themselves on the margins of society and thus develop low self esteem, especially in neurotypical settings.
Next lets define 1.5 gen immigrant. According to Wikipedia it refers to anyone who moved from their birth country to the host country between the ages of 6 to 13. This term mostly applies to Asians, but recently it has gained popularity among Hispanics and Middle Easterners. Typical traits of 1.5 gens include feeling a sense of alienation from both 2nd gens (those who are born in Canada) as well as those who came here later in life (usually high school or as adults). They also tend to speak English and their native language equally well, although some may never reach adult proficiency in either.
I came to Canada from China at age 10, having completed grade 3 in China. Naturally, I had to spend many hours learning English as well as adjusting to Canadian cultural norms. It was a long and tiring process. I got on just well enough to get labelled as ‘fob’ (which is already quite degrading) instead of an imbecile or idiot. I remember not knowing how to respond to personal attacks despite knowing well that I was targeted. In 8th grade I was thought to be ‘oblivious’ when in fact I knew what was happening around me but couldn’t communicate well enough to stand up for myself.
In high school I was mostly ignored, which I took as a blessing. People just knew something was ‘different’ about me even though my academic performance was adequate. As a result, I preferred to hang out either older or younger students, who did not expect me to behave exactly the same as them. My grades started to drop around 11th grade when the workload really started to ramp up. I struggled to keep up and ended up with an average of 70% for the year. When I applied to universities in my senior year, I was rejected to all but one program I applied for. That wasn’t surprising given the sharp decline in my grades starting in grade 11.
Onto my university days I mostly struggled to manage my time. I was having a hard time understanding some of the materials and also struggled to ask for help. I knew I would drop out at some point which actually happened not too long after. Then I went on to college but wasn’t successful there either. I then entered the workforce which made my mental health worse and worse as I couldn’t grasp the social subtleties there. I was basically a walking zombie at that point. I hated myself, loathed that I could have done much more if I had been diagnosed earlier.
I was eventually diagnosed at age 22 with a mild learning disability and inattentive ADHD. They explained so much why I struggled in life even after accounting for my immigrant background. Before my diagnosis I attributed my hardships to not been born in Canada and I believe those around me thought the same. After my diagnosis I could clearly see the aspects that were explained by the process of immigrant acculturation, vs those that were better explained by my neurodivergence.
Fast forward a few years after earning my degree at 27, I decided to do some research on Reddit. It turned out that its common for 1.5 gen students to be overlooked in terms of signs they may benefit from an IEP. In hindsight I definitely think I should have been placed in IEP during my elementary and secondary school years as they would have helped me with staying organized and deciding on a suitable post secondary major. From getting diagnosed to doing research, I have developed self awareness and to me that is key to self improvement.
Although I have experienced rejection, misunderstandings, and letdowns throughout my life, I am grateful for my journey into discovering the unique and intricate identity of being a neurodivergent individual and a 1.5 gen immigrant.
Welcome to my world 